


pink: the colour of compassion and intimacy

by arewecoolvincent



Category: Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dinner, F/F, Holding Hands, Idiots in Love, Intimacy, Love Confessions, Short & Sweet, Sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewecoolvincent/pseuds/arewecoolvincent
Summary: Saturday Night consists of wine, food and sunsets with an added bonus.
Relationships: Gillian Greenwood/Caroline McKenzie-Dawson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> after finishing 'When Worlds Collide', I decided to take a break. Now that very short break is over, I am back. 
> 
> I borrowed the "I'm thinking of becoming a lesbian" line from the 2016 Christmas Special so thanks to Sally Wainwright for that x
> 
> I also think I wrote Gillian pretty well here? I might just be hyping myself up lol

Caroline and Gillian finally had a weekend to themselves. Flora was with Greg and Calamity was with her parents. A month on the trot, Gillian had been babysitting her granddaughter while Raff decorated their new house and Ellie worked. The Greenwood-Wallaces had been living at the farm until their house in Ripponden was ready. Ellie was getting closer to maternity leave. But the house was finally ready and kitted out for the expanding family. As much as Gillian loved having them all under her roof, it was becoming slightly impractical as Gillian would have to rush to pick Calam up while Raff and Ellie were still at work. Caroline was parking up at her local Waitrose when Gillian texted her about picking up some alcohol.

She parked in the yard and quickly slipped out of the car with a bag full of bottles. She goes to knock on the door but realises that it will open like always. Gillian never locked the door as there was nowt worth taking as she had so gracefully put it. “Gillian, I’m here and armed with wine,” she shouts into the house and waits for a response. She hears Gillian thundering down the stairs and she chuckles to herself. “Caz!!” Gillian’s excited voice bounces around the house as she rushes over to Caroline embracing her in a hug. They pull apart after a while and Gillian strides into the kitchen. Caroline follows her and takes a seat at the table, gently placing the bag down on the grainy wood. Gillian potters around the kitchen and Caroline watches her intently. Gillian breaks the comfortable silence with a bold statement, 

“I’m thinking of becoming a lesbian.” Caroline dropped the bottle down on the table in shock. Gillian places two glasses on the table by Caroline’s bag like nothing has happened. 

“Did I miss something? Did something happen?” Caroline pulls one of the glasses closer to her before uncorking the bottle of red. 

“No, nowts happened. I am just giving up on men. My track record is, well, fucking shocking. Two failed marriages and a very long string of lovers. I mean, I’m 52 and I want to explore, I guess.” Gillian says as she watches Caroline fill both glasses to the very top. 

“Is this why you were adamant on going to Hebden Women’s Disco?” Caroline sipped her wine as Gillian pondered her question.

"I suppose, but I mainly went for you. I were your wing woman which I did a shit job at." Gillian sighed and fiddled with the stem of the wine glass.

"You didn't do a shit job. It's just there was no one I found suitable. They were either too young or just not my type.." Caroline placed her glass down on the table and noticed that Gillian's leg was bouncing up and down. Caroline had learnt that this was a clear sign of nervousness and she also noticed that Gillian would bite her nails or fiddle with whatever was in front of her.

"So what is your type?" Gillian asked and she could see that Caroline was uncomfortable with the question which made Gillian somewhat curious. 

"I wouldn't say I have a type but just none of them took my fancy. I… have my eye on someone…" Caroline pauses, hoping that Gillian will now drop the subject. However, she thought wrong, in fact, she had actually opened up a new window for conversation much to her discomfort. 

“Who is she? Do I know her?” Gillian was genuinely curious even though she felt some sort of jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

“I don’t want to talk about this now.” Caroline swiftly shut down the conversation and hoped that Gillian wouldn’t bring it up again. 

“Ok. How was Flo when you dropped her off at Greg’s?” 

“She ran straight over to him. I think she was fed up with being stuck in the car as the journey took twice as long because of an accident on the motorway.” Caroline took a mouthful of wine and watched as Gillian did the same. 

“That’s shit but I’m glad she was okay. Calam said there had been some trouble at school with an older girl but Calam had spoken to a teacher ‘bout it. I wasn’t sure if Calam or Flo had said anything to you.” Gillian dropped her glass back down on the table

“The teacher actually phoned me once she had spoken to the older girl. Flora had been too scared to tell me so I had to reassure her that she could tell me anything, even if Calamity had to help her. But I guess I owe Calamity a thank you.” 

“That’s easy, just give ‘er a hug. She is obsessed with you and your hugs again. I don’t blame her tho.” Gillian smiled shyly before dropping her gaze to her wine glass. She could feel the blush rising on her cheeks and she wished that she hadn’t said that last sentence. 

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment so thank you. I’ll remember to give her a big hug next time I see her.” Caroline let Gillian’s little confession sink in and she felt her heart swell, maybe Gillian did feel  _ something _ for her after all.

“Oh, I need to ask, you alright with fish and chips for dinner? I’ll have to pick it up from the shop.” Gillian had planned on cooking but to be honest, she couldn’t be bothered and she felt like treating Caroline. 

“I haven’t had fish and chips for years so yes that sounds lovely.” Caroline watched as Gillian’s eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face.  _ So beautiful,  _ Caroline had wanted to say but she kept her mouth shut.

“Right, I’ll head down there now. You staying ‘ere or coming with?” Gillian quickly shoved the other wine bottles in the fridge and discarded Caroline’s paper bag into the recycling bin in the corner of the kitchen. 

“I’ll stay here if you don’t mind. I might go for a little walk on the top field. I brought my trainers, they’re in the Jag.” 

“That’s alright. I’ll see you in a bit.” what Gillian does next surprises Caroline. Gillian plants a soft kiss on her cheek before quickly rushing out of the house to her Land Rover. Caroline stays in her chair for a moment to recompose her thoughts. When her legs felt less like jelly, she ventured outside to her Jag. Gillian’s Landy was half-way down the lane and Caroline was glad that she was now alone. She pulled off her heels and slipped on her Veja trainers. She dumped the heels in the Jag, locked the car again and headed up the hill to the top field. 

The day was rather warm for early May but there was a slight breeze which strengthened as Caroline reached the field. She pulled her cardigan around her front and her keys jangled in her pocket while her phone bounced against her side. Her lockscreen was a picture of Flora with Calamity at the beach from last summer when they had gone on holiday last year to France. Caroline had realised in France that she felt something for Gillian that wasn’t normal, sisterly love. It was more romantic and deep which made everything a bit more awkward as she couldn’t act on her feelings as she knew Gillian didn’t feel the same and they were related. 

Her homescreen was a photo of her and Gillian that William had taken at a family dinner. Caroline and Gillian usually made a point of sitting next to each other which no one thought them on. The rest of the family (at the time of the photo) were outside with the kids, so William, Caroline and Gillian were left inside. Willian thought that Caroline and Gillian looked rather sweet in the position they were sat in. They were facing each other, both sober and their faces were very close but both wore bright smiles. William had later admitted to Caroline on the drive home that they looked like a couple and was surprised that Gillian hadn’t kissed his mother. He made it clear that Gillian had been staring at Caroline’s lips on and off all evening. Caroline noticed, of course, but didn’t say anything as that would make her feelings for Gillian clear. 

She perched on the wall at the top of the field and looked over the land. Ever since Gillian expanded, Caroline has loved coming up to this spot and thinking (whether Gillian was with her or not). She could sit here for hours. Gillian was making a bench to place up in this field so Caroline could brood while sitting on something more comfortable and she sectioned off the top so Caroline wouldn’t have to face the sheep. Before now, Caroline had regarded the gesture as thoughtful but as she thought about it now, is this Gillian’s way of hinting at her feelings? She watched the fluffy clouds pass as she let her thoughts take over. There is so much unspoken between Caroline and Gillian which is starting to weigh Caroline down. She just wants to tell Gillian how she feels and move on but it isn’t that simple, especially as Gillian may not feel the same. Now, she knows that this isn’t easy, as she speaks from personal experience. But it wouldn’t surprise Caroline if Gillian had relationships with women in the past whether it was experimental or not, especially after Eddie’s death. 

She stayed in the field for a while and then slowly walked back down to the farmhouse. When she returned, she was alone so she set the table with plates and cutlery ready for Gillian’s return. She topped up their glasses and discarded the empty bottle in the recycling bin. She had just sat back in her chair when Gillian pulled into the courtyard. Gillian came thundering into the house with a bag full of food. “I hope you’re hungry.” Gillian says as she drops the bag down on the table. “I’m starving.” Caroline replied as Gillian served their food. Gillian and Caroline spoke about Celia who was being dramatic about one small thing like always. This time Celia had been complaining that Caroline doesn’t visit her and Alan enough, which is understandable if Caroline was barely around, but Caroline drops by the house every second day as Alan picks up both Calamity and Flora from school when the others are at work. Caroline used to hate it when Gillian referred to Celia as ‘her ladyship’ but now she finds it hilarious. 

After dinner, they retreated to the wall in the front yard to watch the sunset. Wine in hand, conversation and contentment flowing through both of them. As the sun went down, it casted a beautiful shadow on Gillian’s face and Caroline couldn’t stop herself from staring. 

“Have I got something on me face?” Gillian’s voice broke Caroline out of her gaze. She flicked her eyes to Gillian’s lips before making eye contact.

“No, you just look beautiful.” Caroline’s voice was gentle and a blush stained Gillian’s cheeks a light pink to match the sky. 

“They say that pink represents compassion and intimacy.” Gillian’s voice was quiet and she hesitantly laced her fingers with Caroline’s. She ran her thumb over Caroline’s soft knuckles. Gillian always felt safe, calm and most importantly at home when Caroline was around. 

“There is only one person that I want to be intimate with…” Caroline was so close to confessing but she wanted to see if Gillian would pick up on her feelings. 

“Well whoever she is, she is very lucky to have someone like you.” 

“Actually, I’m the lucky one. She is so strong, beautiful and rather intelligent. She always puts everyone else first which is rather sweet. She has been through some real tough shit in her life and is still suffering now. Her family never knew but she trusted me with that secret which I keep. When we first met; we didn’t get on, that was mainly my fault as I was rather rude but now, life wouldn’t be the same without her in it.” Caroline felt Gillian’s grip tighten slightly as she realised that Caroline was talking about her.

“Please tell me that this isn’t the wine talking and you’re being serious.” Gillian needed the confirmation before saying or doing anything. Her eyes met Caroline’s and she could see the passion in Caroline’s eyes. She knew from that look that Caroline was being open which is something that rarely happens and Gillian is forever grateful that she is the only one who sees this side of Caroline. 

“I’m serious. I realised that I had feelings for you in France and ever since then my feelings have blossomed into something that I can’t deny anymore.” Caroline’s face was inches apart from Gillian’s. Their breaths mingled and Gillian’s hair tickled Caroline’s cheek when the breeze picked up. 

The pink of the sky was a sensational backdrop for their first kiss. It was slow and sweet. Both savouring the moment, wanting it seared into their brains as a reminder of how far they’ve come together. From the beginning, Gillian had always felt something for Caroline but she didn’t know what it meant (ar first). Even with her long string of lovers, she had never been with a woman. She had found women attractive but never slept with any (as much as she would’ve liked to). Caroline was different for Gillian and she wanted to do it right.

They pulled back and Gillian’s forehead rested on Caroline’s as the sky got darker around them. It was starting to get a bit chilly but neither of them cared. All that mattered was being in each other’s embrace and the love they felt for each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday Morning sunshine, tea and thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Romy70 inspired me to actually write this chapter. I already had the idea but I wasn't sure if it would fit at first but I've developed it so it fits. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this♡
> 
> Stay safe and healthy x
> 
> Love, F x

When Gillian woke, she felt like it had all been a dream, until she registered Caroline’s even breathing and the arm flung over her waist. She smiled softly as she shifted ever so gently so she could watch Caroline sleep. Outside, the birds were chirping and the sun was already high in the sky, filling the room with hazy and warm light. Gillian watched Caroline for a few moments before slipping out of bed. She silently got dressed and pressed a light kiss to Caroline’s forehead before leaving the room. 

When Gillian returned from her chores, she climbed the stairs with two mugs of tea. She pushed the bedroom door open with her foot carefully so she didn’t spill any tea. Caroline was still asleep but she was now hugging Gillian’s pillow. Gillian smiled at the sight before quietly placing the mugs down on the bedside table. She shrugged off her jeans and climbed back in bed. Caroline stirred and stretched, letting go of Gillian’s pillow in the process. Caroline shuffled across the bed to Gillian who was now sitting with her back pressed against the headboard, her legs stretched out. Caroline’s head now rested on Gillian’s thigh. She had curled herself around Gillian’s leg like a sloth would on a tree branch. 

“Good morning beautiful.” Gillian says as she runs a hand through Caroline’s silky hair.

“Mm, good morning. You’ve been to see sheep?” Caroline’s voice was still thick with sleep. 

“Yes I did. The weather is beautiful again.” Gillian watched as Caroline pressed a kiss to her thigh. 

“Not as beautiful as you.” Caroline whispered as Gillian’s hand stilled in her hair.

“You’re blind. There’s tea on the table behind you. I used your favourite mug.” Gillian slipped her hand out of Caroline's hair and lent over to grab her own mug. 

Caroline sat up and grabbed her mug, gently blowing on the steaming contents. She turned and crossed her legs so she was facing Gillian who was staring out the window as she spoke, "I've been thinking about a lot of things recently and there's something I need to tell you. It's a good thing."

"I'm all ears." Caz replied quietly.

"About 4 years after the accident, I went to London for a weekend away, just me on my own. I needed the space and time alone. I spent the days sight-seeing and feeling like a normal person. I met this lovely woman called Hannah, we sat talking in a bar for hours and she gave me some good advice on certain things. Anyway, to this day, I still think of her advice as it has kept me going and given me the courage to open up to you. Now, I am not going to tell you what Hannah's advice was but I just want you to know that I'm here for you. Always. Even if we decide not to carry on with whatever this is between us." Gillian turned her head so she was facing Caroline who was currently expressionless, which worried Gillian slightly.

"And I'm here for you. Always too. I want to carry this on. We will be good together. I am not worried about what my mother has to say. It is our business not hers. We can keep it between us for now until we get settled into some sort of routine." Caroline smiled as Gillian pressed a light kiss to her cheek. 

"Fuck what Celia thinks." Is all Gillian said before placing her mug and Caroline's mug on the bedside table. Caroline shuffles down and waits for Gillian to join her. 

They lay facing each other with their breaths mingling and Caroline's hand resting on Gillian's hip. Gillian's hand is resting on Caroline's chest on her heart. Waking up next to Caroline was honestly the best thing that has happened to Gillian in years. She loves everything about Caroline and Caroline loves everything about her. Gillian noticed that she fits in Caroline's arms perfectly as she's just a tiny bit shorter so her head fits nicely in Caroline's neck when they hug.

There's little things that they've noticed about each other that no one else does and that is special to both of them. There's things that Gillian would never tell anyone, even if she trusted them, but now, she trusts Caroline with most things including her deepest darkest secret. Caroline trusts her with everything from work problems to family problems especially when Lawrence was involved. Apparently, Gillian had the knack of understanding Lawrence better than Caroline which slightly pissed Caroline off but at the same time, she was extremely grateful for the advice she received. 

There were many times in the past when they couldn't stand each other as they were polar opposites. Caroline was (and still is) the snotty bitch and Gillian was (and still is) the brain-dead, low life trailer trash but opposites attract. Caroline had always wondered if she had met Gillian under different circumstances, would they have slept together? The way Gillian's eyes sparkled with curiosity and clear arousal when they first met in the pub had made Caroline instantly weak in the knees and forced her to put her guard up (even if Gillian could still see right through it).

Caroline had forgiven Gillian for her mistakes over time. She still was surprised that Gillian had slept with John but he would shag anything with a pulse or anything that wasn't Judith at the time. It hurt when she first found out but now, she doesn't really think about it. The past is in the past and everyone learns from their mistakes. Well most people do (in Gillian's case, she didn't learn straight away but she did  _ eventually _ ).

Now, they lay here together thinking about each other and how far they've come. Each had their own emotional journey which they're healing from but now they aren't doing it alone. They have each other for when the days or the nights get too hard. They wanted to take this slow. They wanted to do it properly. Gillian has never felt love like this before and she wanted to experience every waking second of it.

So that's what they did. Slow and steady. Subtlety dropping hints when Raff or William was around. William had noticed straight away and had then informed Raff who was delighted. Alan and Celia were oblivious but that gave Gillian some confidence to finally come out to her dad with Caroline's help. Life's short and sometimes you have to grab that  _ one _ opportunity that changes your life for the  _ better. _

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing this on Saturday night and I had to stop after seeing that Barry Atsma tweeted about 'The Split' being mentioned in the New York Times as series 2 has just started airing in America which sent me into a freak out bc one, I love The Split (well, I love anything that has Nicola in) and two, he quoted my reaction to his tweet. at this point, I was having a panic attack and crying that he had noticed me which now comes to think of it, is very embarrassing and I am glad I was alone in my bedroom. SO, if you want to see me embarrass myself, my twitter is fearlesskl


End file.
